Death Before My Irises

I have always seen you as mine,
You’ve given me part of your life,
That can never be taken back,
You never were always mine,
But life without you scares me,
It is hard to trust another’s judgment,
Like standing next to someone on a cliff,
Scared not only that she will push me,
But she will fall in the act,
I would see death before my irises,
And I do not know if I could handle it,
Even behind the emotional fortress I’ve constructed.

Scratched

I have missed you,
A night’s longing I cannot recover,
But forget,
Wanting to see, smell, & taste,
Fragrances not with me,
But these hives keep me locked away,
I can scratch until blood pours,
But to no avail,
I don’t want you to see my anger,
Interruptions are fragmenting my lull,
I want to be held, to be soothed, someone make the pain go away,
You are only human though,
Keep my mind awake.

Old Poets

Old poets though once thought modern, hear my cry!
You offered a cold one and asked if I would lie
To them and in bed when I stopped to read your verse.
Your graves are picked on your "freedom" fighter’s search.
Old poets though once thought modern, hear my cry!
Why not follow Robert’s narrow path in the woods and defy
Your cradle within Eliot’s Wastelands, raised and made,
But never raised from the inherited heap and life’s shade.

Old poets though once thought modern, hear my cry!
Your dream of heaven and nirvana when you die
Is amiss, the two differ, like you and me.
You make me sad to the point of death, nearly.

Closure

Closure,
The exit of a loved one,
By casket or by train,
Closure,
Medals and Merits on a uniform,
The journey home from foreign soil,
Closure,
Moving the home to another house,
Job placement,
Closure,
Goals and tragedies,
All swallowed by mortality,
Closure,
No Celtic knots,
No endless timelines,
Closure, Giving comfort,
Forcing grief to surface,
Closure,
Proclaiming Pride,
Shunning Shame,
Closure,
A sense of accomplishment,
A sense of nostalgia
A sense of stability,
A sense of understanding,
A sense of peace.
Admission and acknowledgment of one’s innate calling.

Sad Times

And all the sad times,
I peer back with my eyes,
And all the sad times,
When all my joy fades and dies,
And all the sad times,
I call on friends and family,
And all the sad times,
When I look in disgust at my complacency,
And all the sad times,
Fade into glee,
everlasting glee.

Emily D.

Emily,
I may have given into the pressure -
You did not, but what if it was meant to be-
The way I was meant to be improved,
Stubborn,
I am a kindred spirit in your search-
For self and understanding (controlling nature),
They can never take them-
My vision, My memories, My discovery, My truths.

Edgar Allen

Edgar,
Searching in the desolate for paradise,
Perfection of beauty,
You crave madly,
Though your double vision yields no truth.
Beauty is deceitful, only in perfection it is not, I surmise,
Ask Helen, ask Annabelle Lee,
People will always fail you,
Only be mortal,
Strive for immortal beauty,
Unparalleled by anything here.

Not Whole

I want to jump on my fellow man,
I want to leave this world behind,
I would use my friend as a stepping stool to Heaven is I could,
I am not whole, much less holy,
I know you want me to be holy.
I hug the trunk to afraid to release my grip,
Out on the limb is my neighbor I swore to protect and love like myself
And have already forsaken him for self assurance that is fading as I
speak,
I am not whole, much less holy,
I know you want me to be holy.

Normal Day

Is that you:
a teller’s transaction behind receipts in the back of the desk drawer,
more average than the classroom’s score,
more medium than a poltergeist.
You are God: always present, never seen.
I cry to acknowledge you! For you are
forgotten semi-annually: the face of the metro driver.
Never arriving in the present place
if you had not been?

Overcast of Believers

Clouds riding the tides of air,
Each one independent, and looking from below,
All so different, but each do care,
With heavy overcast it is hard for the Son to show,
Shine through, God! As we refract your love and grace,
All having our faults and all rain on each others parades,
But are bound by the of seeing our loved ones seek your face,
If only each tornado, thunderstorm, and for could be unmade.