Unpopular as innocence (thankfully)

I still shiver when I consider sex before my driver’s test,
two years before my first kiss a girl undressed closed
behind a door I wanted to remove,
waiting, a scared little boy,
if she would have dangled herself before my nose, who knows
what I would have followed

crowded with the crowd into locked rooms,
as if taped up doors ever stopped them.
afraid to be forced do anything (or anyone)
to be in control I must be out of popular circles and 7-minute heavens,
being unconventional at high school academic conventions
when they called my name,
I wrote, I wrote, I wrote.