Boy watches
Boy watches girl sitting on bananas–
surrounded in road signs, pin-ups, and pop-ups–
ripping CD’s and a heart far away bleeding,
making a “love-making” mix for a friend
for his 21st and last birthday.
One more cuticle from a hangnail,
as actions appoint us owners of everyone’s future;
deciding right and wrongs momentarily–
autonomous and lonely as a form-filled mailbox.
Can’t give you what you’re worth
I never thought that I’d ever say that love hurt,
but its hard to when I can’t give you what you’re worth.
Sorry for the pain that saying you’re mine may bring,
They need me?and, as for now, I don’t have a ring
And you still dream of waking up next to me.
It’s hard to live loving you (like this) more than me.
The grain and the fish
Here I am, again, thrashing on Your threshing floor.
God, grind my garbage from the good grain.
Garner it for the gardens growing beautiful garlands
to wrap around Your feet, for I cannot wear them.
“Don’t eat me!” I scream and gulp as I wiggle out of
the surging stream that is not my life, love, nor desire.
I am a fish floundering in the tweed of the Fisherman.
Caught again, unaware what other’s need.
Online
Guilt boils over as the screen sleeps in black.
Can I spend one night away from its glow
And all the pixels of people?
What if someone, somewhere needs me
No one will call, so I chat to fill this lonely night.
They tell me worries, problems, stories of mistakes,
Maybe I’ve been there once feeling their aches
And it’s killing me not to be there typing,
Messaging a friend I love dearly.
What my come if I am not there online?
wondering if i’ll make a difference over the net
In Your bottle
You keep my tears in your bottle
Recording every drop on paper.
A deluge of hope in me
Saturating my struggle
With compassion and empathy.
It’s easier to hate this pain
Than love the causes of my cries
For mercy.
You make them bearable
So I don’t succumb
To my fears.
Paths chosen
When the thing you wish not to be
Is hinted in your reality,
When the way out you wanted is not the path chosen
And you wince at your friend’s news, began fussin’
“It’s all over. Nothing can change what’s passed.
“It’s a way out, but it’s not how I would have acted
“It’s not the path I’d choose,
But I am not and never will be you.
So bless you and may he guide all that you do.
I’ll always love you.
Thinking of You (III)
It’s labor thinking about all the pregnant girls.
I always wanted to be the guy they came crawling to
So I could be a road sign pointing to the Cross roads.
I never could say whore or the like,
Because they believe you sometimes,
One time,
Then they break like porcelain.
No reason, no complaint
Other than a screaming “Why, why did you do it?!”
You don’t think that you deserve me and
That you would leap from tall buildings in a single bound.
I’m sorry if I never thrill you like someone else.
When you tire of the party, tell me.
If my opposite is ingrained, you’ll never change
Like the yearbook signatures: “Never change.”
But you can change, because I cry every night
Throwing objects against the wall from my bed
When I think of you in bed.
Then, I never want to see you again
Because I’m ashamed, but I would never tell you because
They believe you sometimes
One time,
Then you might break like porcelain.
For a millisecond
I wish I could have ran when I wouldn’t have felt guilt.
No matter what I say;
No matter if I can’t say anything
I still care.
Tropical Iceberg
Alone as a chilled drinks on the rocks of Galapagos,
An iceberg off shore of the tropical coast,
A dash of salt among a powder keg of chili powder,
An embrace amidst of war as the canons become louder,
My love is a drop of contact solution in a salty sea.
You are my sole help as the bright light can be
Above the table of operation where someone just died,
Rolled in, doped, you close your eyes, stupefied.
feeling alone
No one to romance
There is no one to be the receiver of my romance,
No woman in my life worthy of my waiting on to dance,
I crave to craft art for her ear and eyes,
Listen to her laughter; comfort as she cries,
Meditate on her ruminations and discuss her daily digests.
Hear the air of her breath, watch the rise and fall of her chest.
Where is she? Tell me please,
So I can cherish her now. Certainly I must,
Construct trestles of trust before I rust.
Surely, it’s her time for me to see
And love all parts of her with every part of me.