Paths chosen
When the thing you wish not to be
Is hinted in your reality,
When the way out you wanted is not the path chosen
And you wince at your friend’s news, began fussin’
“It’s all over. Nothing can change what’s passed.
“It’s a way out, but it’s not how I would have acted
“It’s not the path I’d choose,
But I am not and never will be you.
So bless you and may he guide all that you do.
I’ll always love you.
You Come Waltzing
There are those moments I find
You come waltzing into my mind,
You remove your lace
I push you away “Out of my face!”
All I want is for you to say
“Everything, Stephen, will be OK”
And you hold me tight
In the middle of my night.
Thinking of You (III)
It’s labor thinking about all the pregnant girls.
I always wanted to be the guy they came crawling to
So I could be a road sign pointing to the Cross roads.
I never could say whore or the like,
Because they believe you sometimes,
One time,
Then they break like porcelain.
No reason, no complaint
Other than a screaming “Why, why did you do it?!”
You don’t think that you deserve me and
That you would leap from tall buildings in a single bound.
I’m sorry if I never thrill you like someone else.
When you tire of the party, tell me.
If my opposite is ingrained, you’ll never change
Like the yearbook signatures: “Never change.”
But you can change, because I cry every night
Throwing objects against the wall from my bed
When I think of you in bed.
Then, I never want to see you again
Because I’m ashamed, but I would never tell you because
They believe you sometimes
One time,
Then you might break like porcelain.
For a millisecond
I wish I could have ran when I wouldn’t have felt guilt.
No matter what I say;
No matter if I can’t say anything
I still care.
My Porch Paradox
Step up on the door step, dimly lit
Brown boxes opened, tape slit,
Balanced on my knee carefully bent,
Held tightly under my chin’s whiskered dent.
Slowly, I reach for the knob.
If it turns, I might be robbed,
An intruder invaded, maybe,
But if it’s stuck, I’m forced to find my key
and know my things are safe and sound
as I jiggle my keys in the moonlight around.
Stack another thing
Stack another thing on the desk or under another
The amount of stuff I collect could smother
Any run of the mill other
Could I ever find if I needed the next day
Proper place is over there, but I may
Stop at my comfy bed on the way
This pile, that pile can wait a day.
Tropical Iceberg
Alone as a chilled drinks on the rocks of Galapagos,
An iceberg off shore of the tropical coast,
A dash of salt among a powder keg of chili powder,
An embrace amidst of war as the canons become louder,
My love is a drop of contact solution in a salty sea.
You are my sole help as the bright light can be
Above the table of operation where someone just died,
Rolled in, doped, you close your eyes, stupefied.
feeling alone
Check your bags at the door
Is flight attendant on my resume?
Look hard.
I tire carrying your baggage
From broken relationships and abuses
That cloud your judgment
And cause snowballs that kill skiers.
If you’re not afraid, you are alone
And I don’t want you to ever feel alone,
You’ve told no one else but me, and for some reason
I said I would tell no one else, but I will have to lie
Unless you are honest; don’t want you to slide.
I love you, and I know that wasn’t love and never will be.
Do you know what love is? Do you? I’m still not sure if I do.
Level
I want to have a fake facade,
But I want to sink to your level
So you will talk to me about you.
I’d be someone beside myself beside myself.
I want to be your friend.
Speak to me.
Climbing
I’m climbing to the next rung
Will I be hung?
I’m climbing to be in their sphere of influence
But as I climb I exit this globe.
Climbing into a vacuum
Lonely as one can be.
But I’m still climbing,
Never resting.
Am I leaving anyone behind?