Can’t give you what you’re worth
I never thought that I’d ever say that love hurt,
but its hard to when I can’t give you what you’re worth.
Sorry for the pain that saying you’re mine may bring,
They need me?and, as for now, I don’t have a ring
And you still dream of waking up next to me.
It’s hard to live loving you (like this) more than me.
Little things
“Goodnight, my child,”
She tucks me in;
“Tower! Plane! Explosion!”
NYC defined in charades:
Unrolling the tucked coat collar
of your lover on a windy day,
Smirking at the “All Male”
neon bar sign flashing pink;
The pebble rolling around
angering your sole;
Stubbed toes and day after day grace
on a littered road of rocks.
These god-like stones
These god-like stones will end with time,
ruined and lost among progress’ monoliths.
My hair tunnels into my ear as I
light matches in the frozen wind.
Ground is hard to till with rocks
animals and specters now call home.
I search for morsels on withered plants
sprouting from concrete catacombs:
the midnight hunger of the prosperous,
waking from pillows of down to go downstairs
searching for more than food.
I smell of woman
I smell of woman; skin lingers on the tongue,
Dry mouth, wet lips, and thoughts loiter on.
Scared, lost in hair and night;
Found in arms, tense and tight.
Driven to reveal the hidden
Tracing curves with light tips–smitten!
Need I apologize to the girl I might know
And this girl’s groom as he screams “No!”
Before this darkness binds us.
our conscious finds us as
We fall down.
God, please forget.
All like a dream now?
Except the regret.
Never free, loved.
Never free
Not that I want to be.
Prenatal debt: Nurtured. Redeemed. Sustained.
Prevalent like ancestry, extending past death.
They hold me, scold me, embolden me:
Nothing I deserve–
Should be flung like pennies after a long day onto the dresser–or the floor.
But He keeps me, she keeps me, he keeps me, you keep me.
Alone, My Worth
Time slows, scheduler empties,
time to kill myself again.
The CD spins a lulling tune,
I hold up a mirror
and wonder alone my worth.
Without me,
Would you differ?
Mind if I take a photo?
Mind if I take a photo?
You smile. I smile.
Freezing you on my film? Can I?
Can I frame you in my mind
Like you once were
For you’ve run away.
You are not in this photo.
Same name, face, yes,
That was then.
Don’t want to chase,
Even if I could find you.
Who are you looking for, my friend?
Mid-Doubt
Will you be there in my crisis?
Standing between a knife, a bridge, and me
That I don’t think I could ever do,
But could just live to live and survive
Except for the kids I might as well die.
I deserve the crap I get from you,
But do I know who I am.
I have a family I am not free.
Do I need to be?
Campus morn
Dried blood brick and amber leaves petrify in memory,
White oaks mirror a horizon-hung sun blinding
Aldersgate glistens in algae-ic glow
and the cupola scrutinizes the grounds
festooned in frosty, sapphire shadows
while violet, autumn ghosts polish
campus concrete to a pasty panache.