So dirty, you want to spit out your gum

when all the human love isn’t enough
and you wonder if you’ve experienced love
when the ball point runs dry and
the creative juices no long serve up mixed drinks
intoxicating the whole page until
the end looks close and thoughts of self-mutilation and guilt
arrive on a red light subway and consumes like African fire ants.

Lola eat a nother

Watch me not stopping 99%
I can stop.
staring into the sun. 87%
burns the retina.
it’s not a problem.another one.
Lola eat a man.
like an animated gif. 55%
on/off–programmed in infinite loop.
of course, in-betweens. 35%
children, adults and.
only so many pinks, tans, and fingertips.
all alone, all the same. 20%
another night to load.
another picture, another page. 10%
staring into the flickering darkness.
00%

Staring into the sun

staring into the sun
burns my retinas
leaving a spot I cannot correct
with my will
staring into the darkness
waiting for another night to load. . . 10
another picture, another page 20
alone, all the same,
the children, the adults, the in-betweens, 35

Lola eat a another one–
swallow me whole,
because there’s no going back
now, it’s just up and down, 55
he…he. . . up and down–
this infinite loop’s got to end someday
like the guilt disease–like me, 87
for boys don’t cry
except when they’re against a beast
that won’t release–his claws
because he’s not a problem. 100%
–
with my story:
the children, the adults, the in-betweens,
not alone, not the same,
not another picture, not another page–
I stand naked in the light.